Umm I'm too high to move.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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