Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
