I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
