And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
