I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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