hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
