I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
