I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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