So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
