what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
