I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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