Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
