does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The feeling are messing with the penis
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
