I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
