Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
