is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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