Yo dont text me then not text me
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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