Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's never too late to be topless.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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