she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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