I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
