I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
