Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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