If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
