i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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