i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
