That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
