my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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