Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
