So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I did not marry a roomba.
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