My nipple is on Facebook.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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