I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
