the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
