I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
