She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
