? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
