I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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