YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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