he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
