so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
