Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
