Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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