The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
