I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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