I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
