So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
