Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just pee around me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
