That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
