let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
