The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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