It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
